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托福独立写作文档解析

时间:2021-04-23 12:23:40 来源:学生联盟网

托福独立写作题目相对而言比较多,针对独立写作部分的备考我们要更多的总结规律,通过总结来节省备考时间。下面小编就和大家分享托福独立写作范文解析,希望能帮助到大家,来欣赏一下吧。

托福独立写作范文解析 如何写好文章

Essay Topic

Which one is the most important for teacher of high school?

1. The ability to help students plan for their future;

2. The ability to find the students who need help most and help them;

3. Teach students how to learn outside the classroom.

就这道题来讲,题型基本结构的选择有两种:三项能力都重要,但是第一项最重要;或者,第一项是重要的,而第二项和第三项是不重要的。其他的文章结构都是这两种的变体。我们拿第二种结构举例:

总论点:规划未来能力最重要(vs.发现需要帮助的同学&教会自学)

主体段1:学生最需要规划,而只有老师有能力提供

主体段2:发现需要帮助的能力不重要,因为学生自己会来找

主体段3:课外自学不重要,高中生没有课外时间

The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely themost important capability for high school teachers.

To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidanceabout their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it.I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a greatportion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement forgraduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in theUS, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games orlove affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choiceof universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made mattersworse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidanceconcerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, butsimply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority ofour parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the collegeapplication process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is anutter mistake, for what they did was simply giving us the timeline of theapplication process, translating our personal statements and recommendationletters from Chinese into English, and finally mailing out all our materials tothe US. All of these simple tasks could be performed by ourselves, and thesemisfortunes surely could have been avoided if we had the luck to meet morecompetent teachers, with the ability to warn students and their parents aboutthe black-hearted agencies and lay out lucid plans for students’ future.

The capability to find the students who need assistance most and help them,on the other hand, is not that imperative. The reason for this is quite simple,since high school students would come to teachers voluntarily if they are inserious trouble. In other words, many times students don’t want to be botheredby a teacher who treats them like a baby-sitter. As for the “help” part, Ifirmly hold the faith that all teachers are already equipped with thewillingness to solve student’s problem gladly, using their prehistoric powers,no matter how difficult the situation can be. So the willingness to helpstudents should be the minimum standard to be qualified as a teacher.

Similarly, the skill to teach students how to learn outside the classroomis completely unnecessary. For one, most high school students have no timeoutside their classrooms at all, as all their spare time is already occupied bycram school or by extracurricular activities. Even in the rare circumstance thatsome students may have free time, parents could always play the part of theirinstructor on how to self-study.

本篇文章在结构的处理上,做到了清晰、简单。第一个主体段在证明第一项能力是非常必要的。第二、三主体段在分别证明第二、三项能力是不重要的。整个段落结构很明确。这样会更容易获得高分。大家要注意避免结构过于复杂和混乱。

如何丰富整篇文章的结构?

大家经常会有疑惑的问题就是:我的三个主体段全部都是讲故事,好像手法太单一了,会不会被扣分?如何丰富?

答案是:有可能;以及,偶尔的使用纯解释型段落。

众所周知,TOEFL写作中展开手法有两种,exemplification和explanation。例证显然是二者中更简单的一个。因此,大部分同学都更倾向于使用例证。因为它更容易快速上手,并且大家可以通过举例来展开具体化的细节,从而获得高分。但注意,如果三个主体段全部是讲故事展开,未免会有语言太差的嫌疑。因此,除了例证,我们文章中最好可以稍微涉及到一些说理部分。

举例和说理分别的优势?

大家现在可以重新观察一下范文三个主体段的展开手法。三个主体段一共444字。其中第一段259字,第二段116字,第三段69字。第一段的展开手法为例证(讲故事),第二、三段均为解释。

大家明显感受到例证的优势即为能够更轻松的展开出有效并具体化的细节,或俗称“好凑字”。解释的好处为语言简练,表达效率高,文章的递进性、节奏会更紧凑。

举例和说理分别的劣势?

例证在TOEFL写作中并无太明显的劣势。解释的劣势就比较明显了。同样的一个分论点,有的同学用例证可以很轻松写到200字,而解释只能说到100字。有的同学可能有个刻板印象:讲故事的语言通常比较简单,句式单一,因此不容易得高分。注意,讲故事语言和句式也是可以复杂的;或者大家可以选择简单但地道的表达,可同样可以获得满分。

答题战略、以及举例和说理的优劣小结

因此我们以后考场上的答题战略很简单。第一段为例证段落。目的为使劲凑字,尽量直接写满200字。第二、三段可以选择简短的小故事或者解释性段落,分别写到60~100字左右。这样主体段已经达到至少320字,再加上开头结尾段,可以轻松满足350字的字数要求。

如何练好说理?

说理对语言和句式的要求要明显高于例证。因此一定要有扎实的基本功的支持才能够写出漂亮的说理段落。关于句式的练法,可以参考强化班上的句型基本构成以及句型转化练习。

如何练好例证?

例证的套路大家都很熟悉。很多同学的问题出在没思路上。比如,一道题目问说:我们的闲钱应该拿去旅游好,还是存到银行好?有同学说,存起来更好,因为可以未雨绸缪。这是一个很好的分论点,那么如何以例证的方式来展开呢?有同学说可以使用反证法:我有一个朋友Foosen,他就不存钱,后来他就死的很惨。用此例来强调存钱的必要性。大部分同学都能够想到这一步,问题会处在如何用故事来展开死的很惨,以及什么事情导致Foosen死的很惨。我们来看一篇范文:

To begin with, as a young man living in a big city, I need to start savingup from now on, because there are a lot of things in the future costing tons ofmoney. Take my good friend Foosen for example. He is an optimistic guy whoprefers to seize the day. He can spend all his salary within just two dayseither on luxuries or on trips. Before he was even 22, he already went aroundthe whole Africa. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. Lastyear during his trip to South Africa, he accidentally broke his leg and had togo through surgery. However, since he could not cover the expense, he had tocall everybody to borrow money. It took so long for him to collect the moneythat the surgery was delayed. As a result, the recovery period for him was 2months longer than everyone else’s. Now, this example might be a particularinstance, and it is out of his expectation. Nonetheless, in today’ssociety, eventhe potential spending within our expectation is already quite worrying. Forinstance, in Beijing, if I wish to purchase a 30-squaremeter apartment, it wouldcost me over 3 million yuan; if I want to invite, say, 20 friends to my wedding,I would have to pay over 200,000 yuan; not to mention if I have a child and wantto support his education, it would cost at least 50,000 yuan per year just forhim to go to kindergarten. It aches mejust to look at these horrifying numbers.If I don’t save up for my future, there would be no future. (275 words)

故事描述了主人公Foosen,由于是乐天派并且坚持活在当下,进而展开月光、全世界各地旅游;到之后有一次意外摔断腿,需要做手术,但没有存钱,从而导致恢复期比普通人长了两个月。大部分的同学就是这些故事的“细节”想不到,或者没思路。如何解决?很简单,就是多看。因为讲故事并没有一个明显的模式或公式可以使用。

其实就是我们中学老师总说的那句话,“量的积累产生质的飞跃。”大家想练好例证,只需要找到优秀的讲故事型范文,仿写10篇左右,自然会掌握规律。

托福写作:题库范文附思路解析

1. Doing work: by hand or using machines? Some people like doing work byhand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasonsand examples to support your answer.

『分析』分情况。有些事情适合用手做,比如:洗衣服:有些人就喜欢用手洗衣服(wash clothes),而不用洗衣机(laundrymachine)。写字:不用电脑,而坚持用笔,基本上只有50岁以上的人才干得出来。很多的事情只能手工去作(举例);而另外也有很多事情只能用机器去做(举例)。还有一些事情要二者结合才可以,比如统计工作。搜集数据(collectdata),往往更依赖人工(manual work);数据处理(dataprocessing/manipulating),最好由计算机完成。相关题目:[140]

『范文』 Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer to use machines. Idefinitely fall into the latter category. I use a machine for almost all of thework I do. The reasons why I prefer to use machines are that most hand work istedious, machines are faster and more efficient, and I am more proficient withmost machines. Two things that I spend a copious amount of time doing arewriting and sewing. Both of these endeavors border on pain if I do not have acomputer or a sewing machine, respectively. What was once a fun task becomesvery monotonous, and no longer enjoyable. Using a machine can turn ordinarytasks into exciting ones. Using machines to do work is also much faster and moreefficient than using your hands to do it. For example, if I wrote this essay byhand, rather than using the computer, it would probably take me at least fivetimes as long. Hand sewing a shirt would take ten times longer than using amachine to do the same work. Not only are machines faster and more efficient, Iam much more proficient using machines than I am doing the same work by hand. Ifind that when I am sewing by hand, all of my seams are very uneven and crooked.However, when I sew on a machine, my seams are perfect. The machine helps tokeep my hand in line, therefore I can turn out a much better product. It is thesame for writing essays. My handwriting is messy at times. If I had written apaper, I cannot correct it as easily as if I had written it on the computer. Mywriting blurs together, and sometimes I cannot even read what I have writtendown. Machines are definitely a better way for me to work efficiently,proficiently, and enjoyably. 102. Should schools ask students to evaluate theirteachers? Schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agreeor disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

2. 『分析』有保留地同意 (agree with reservations)。学生在评判教师时,是否全部学生都可以客观评价(objectiveevaluation)?是否有足够的能力(包括academic knowledge等等)去进行客观评价? 如果采取了这样的方式,就会出现老师迎合(caterto/ pander to/ play up to students' taste)学生而不是引导 (guide;lead)学生,违背了教育的原则。保留意见/这种方式:允许学生进行评价,但是应该作为一个参考,同时要有其他的评判方式。参见:[97]

『范文』 Teachers have a very difficult job in society. They not only have tolearn how to teach material effectively, but also must learn how to deal with awide variety of personalities. While teaching is a difficult job, I think it isimportant for schools to ask students to evaluate their teachers. I think thisis the right thing to do because it encourages teachers to try their best, itgives students the opportunity to choose effective teachers, and it allows theschools to have the best teachers possible teaching. If a teacher knows that atthe end of the term, the students will be evaluating his/her work, then theteacher will be driven to do a very good job. If there is no pressure fromevaluation, a teacher might be prone to doing a less than perfect job. I believethat everyone needs an occasional evaluation to ensure they are doing their jobcorrectly. In the case of a teacher, the students will give the most importantevaluations. If there was a public summary of which teacher scored the higheston his/her evaluations, then students would be able to take courses based onwhich teacher was the best at the job. This would allow students to excel intheir studies, and achieve better grades. Finally, if schools ask students toevaluate their teachers, the schools themselves would be able to have the bestteachers working on campus. If a teacher scored too low on an evaluation, areplacement could be found. This is a much better method than waiting forstudents to complain about a teacher. Teachers do have a difficult job, butregardless of this, they must excel at it. If a person is a particularly poorteacher, the students will not learn the required material, and suffer forit.

3. The most important characteristic that a person can have to besuccessful in life In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic(for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have tobe successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience toexplain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to theexamples listed in the question. 参见:[15]、[27]

『范文』 To be successful in life, one should have the characteristic ofindependence, that is, he/she has the ability to think critically. By criticalthinking, one is capable of analyzing insightfully, concentrating on the righttarget, thereby making a wise decision. Thinking critically can enable one toanalyze problems insightfully. We live in a world where controversial issues areoften simply taken for granted. For example, most people are reluctant to thinkcarefully about issues like whether boys and girls should take separate classes.Recently a high school in Beijing announced that their students from then ontake separate classes. Many parents support such ridiculous decision withoutcareful consideration. They are poor thinkers. Critical thinking is but to asksome simple yet essential questions, which always brings amazing sometimesappalling outcomes. Is such a scheme capable of eliminating underage sexualbehaviors among adolescents? Is such a scheme guarantee boys and girls free ofnegative effects? Sadly, the decision had been made but the question leftunanswered. Thinking critically can help one concentrate on right targets. Weall have only and exactly 24 hours a day, but we often have mountainous work todo in hands, along with which many personal affairs seem equally urgent.Concentrating on right targets is probably the only way to overcome suchdilemmas. For example, ETS has recently announced that GRE examination will betransformed back to paper based test. Grumbles are all around, and complains areposted almost on every BBS on the Internet. But if students think critically,however, they will find out the simple fact that even if ETS had made an awkwarddecision, test preparers should concentrate on the right target—preparing testas prudently as possible, and at the same time, grumbling never helps. Only bythinking critically can one make decisions wise and prudent. Sound decisionmaking is essential to success. Decisions such as which movie theater we shouldgo tonight are simple enough to make by tossing a coin, but decisions such aswhich university or which major we should choose are complicated enough so thatwe need careful comparisons. A comparison sheet will help a lot, simply bylisting several relevant questions such as "Am I really interested in thismajor?" or "Are there more opportunities in the city where the universitylocates?" By analyzing insightfully and concentrating on the right targets, wisedecisions are not hard to reach at all.

4. Artists' contribution or scientists' contribution, which is morevaluable? It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of itsmembers. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributionsof scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued moreby your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.

『分析』不要急于选择;一定要进行比较陈述科学家做出的贡献陈述艺术家做出的贡献在不同的时期(比如战争时期vs和平时期),二者做出的贡献不同。参见:范文

『范文』 Art and science are essentially a strange coupling. Yet more oftenthan not, they are considered as divergent rather than consistent with eachother. The artist employs image and metaphor; the scientist uses number andequation. By casual juxtaposition, these two fields seem to have little incommon: there are few, if any, references to art in any standard textbook ofscience; art historians rarely interpret an artist's work in light of theconceptual framework of science. Despite what appear to be irreconcilabledifferences, however, they do have at least one thing in common—both of themhave significant contribution to the society, but through probably distinctiveway. The development of science and technology has always accompanied theprogress of the society. The invention of the steam engine brought a new era ofthrift of world economy; the employment of electricity has multiplied theproductivity and virtually reproduced limited resources on the Earth; theinnovation of computer technologies has made the Earth a little village andconnected distant countries as a single market. While sometimes the progress ofscience and technology, such as that of human cloning, cause troubles ororiginate dilemmas, it seems always undeniable that in a broad sense, thedevelopment of science has provided people a much higher standard of living thanthat of their counterparts in any phrase of the history. Visualization andfascination have been the major power of any form of art. For example, any'religion in this world cannot exist without music, which helps realize the faithof the church to an astonishing extent. Each and every revolution on this earthwas accompanied by numerous corresponding art productions, because the artistssense the circumstances, and then reflect their sensations with sophisticatedtechniques in their production, which can be easily perceived by the publicthrough powerful empathy. Nobody could evaluate art as correct or not standard,needless to say the public, they simply feel it is good or not, therefore arthas always had magic influence on the public and society in general. However,it's been said that there is no science without fancy and no art without facts.Science fictions have long been functioning as a major vehicle for the publicdissemination of science; scientists share parallel view of space, time andlight, etc. with artists. Not only are art and science interrelated with eachother but they also contribute to each other in various way. Therefore, it ishard to compare the contributions of art and science, it is simply partial tosay that either one contributes more to the society than another does.

5. Living in university housing or in an apartment in the community?Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may chooseto live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments inthe community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with theadvantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer tolive? Give reasons for your preference.

『分析』一定要进行比较。住在宿舍的优缺点:便宜(不用付或者付很少的租金;很少的交通费用);方便;但是可能不自由自己租房子住的优缺点:自由;安静;干净;但是费用高(也许合租的话,就会便宜很多)。根据自己的情况进行选择

『范文』 Being a new student at a university is an excitement. Choosing whereto live, whether on campus in a dormitory, or off campus in an apartment, is infact quite a big decision. Both of these options have their relative benefits.Living in a dormitory has many advantages over living off campus. For example,one has the opportunity to meet dozens of new students. One is usually placed ina room with a roommate, who can help with homework, and give much needed supportduring difficult times. Another advantage of living in a dormitory is not havingto cook food. Most students coming to a university have lived their whole liveswith their parents, and inexpert at preparing food, for they were not in chargeof the cooking in home. Many students who first learn to cook their own foodwhile going to school eat a very unhealthy diet. On top of this, many studentsare so preoccupied with their studies that they do not have time to cook anutritious meal. Therefore, the fact that the dormitories include a cafeteria isvery beneficial. However, living off campus has its advantages as well. In mostsituations, one has much more freedom to do what they want in these livingconditions. For instance, one can stay up late studying or come home latewithout disturbing a roommate. Also, one is not limited to the cafeteria food ifhe/she is a particular eater. Living by oneself also has its benefits. One neverhas to deal with rude or messy roommates. Overall, I think that both of theseoptions are good choices. However, I recommend that first or second yearstudents live in a dormitory, and perhaps wait until they are older and moreaccustomed to university life before venturing out on their own. This way, onegets the best of both worlds: the camaraderie of living with many people and theindependence of living by oneself.

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